I came home for the Christmas holidays knowing that is probably the grade I would receive. It was quickly confirmed when grades came in the mail a week or so later. To say I was upset is putting it mildly. For starters, the thought of having to take that class a second time just was not something that I wanted to do (it was required to graduate in the spring). However, even more than that I felt that I had failed. I moped around for DAYS! I was down on myself and convinced that I had failed my parents, my family, and I suppose, even God, by failing this class.
At the time, my mother was the pianist at our church. Oftentimes, she would leave for church ahead of us to practice any special music she had planned for the service.
On this particular Sunday following when I received my semester grades, she was going up early before the Sunday evening services. I don't remember why now, but I went with her. The song she was playing that evening for the offertory was "His Eye Is On the Sparrow".
I remember kind of pacing around the sanctuary as she practiced and I awaited the beginning of the service. Not really listening to what she was doing... just walking (and, truth be told, probably moping and pouting). At one point, Mom stopped playing and asked me to stop, sit down and listen to what she was playing. She asked me to listen to the words of the song. She played this beautiful song and sang the words as she played.
Of course, from the very first line in the song she grabbed my attention. "Why should I be discouraged?" Yes, indeed. So, I failed a course in collge? Why should I let that discourage me when I have God? Why, why, why? Yes, it seemed monumental that I failed this class since college was my life at the time and I was so close to graduation. But, I had an opportunity to turn it over to God and allow Him to guide me and be with me as I took the class a 2nd time.
What a wonderful reminder my mother gave me that evening. If God is watching over even a sparrow, then He is watching over me. He knows when I am disappointed and feel as if I have failed, but He cares and He loves me thru it all. There is no need to let life's discouragements affect us so strongly when we know we have God on our side.
Yes, I have had many discouragements in life since that day and I know for a fact that I will have many more. But, ever since that day sitting at church listening to Mom play this beautiful song, I always think of this during those times of discouragement.
"His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches over me."
I am always assured that God is with me. After all, He never promised that life on this earth would be easy, but He did promise that He would be with us through it all.