Trusting God

Several times over the last few weeks I have referenced the fact that I feel God is working in my life and that I see changes up ahead. In March, I shared here how I felt that God was making some changes in my life and how very thankful I am that He is there with me each step of the way. And, in April I shared here how grateful I am that I can turn my worries over to God and mentioned that there were several situations where I needed to be patient and wait for them to resolve.

Today I can still state with confidence that God is working to make some changes in my life and I can still say that I am ever so grateful that I can turn my worries over to Him. However, I must admit that I never saw certain events coming up ahead of me. And, because of these events, I am more and more thankful that I can turn to God. This last week I have been surprised, shocked and saddened by the events that have taken place.

To explain a bit, I probably should back up just a bit and share in more detail. Over the last couple of years, I have had the opportunity to be on a project at work that brought many new challenges and offered a chance for me to grow in many ways. The downside, however, was much stronger in that it forced me to make distinct choices between work and family. It brought much stress into my life and made me question what it was that God really wanted me to do from a professional standpoint.

Over the last few months, the work had slowed a bit but we were beginning to gear up for the next large project. About two weeks ago, the board of directors met and decided they would be delaying this next project for two years. That announcement coupled with many financial problems the company is facing led to a decision to lay off a number of employees in my department. I did not lose my job and have been assured I have a place in the company for as long as I desire. However, it brought about the loss of jobs for two of my most precious co-workers of whom I wrote about in this post. I am saddened to the point that I have shed many tears over the last couple of days. Many tears for them and where this sudden loss of job leaves them and their families. And, quite honestly, tears for me as I look at facing the coming months working without them as part of my team. Months without their constant support to get through the tough times. Months without their smiling faces and constant encouragement.

You see, if it hadn't been for these women I probably would have left the company 4-5 years ago. So, now to know they will no longer be there has led me to begin questioning once again if this is really the place God wants me in the years to come. It makes me wonder if this is one way that God is guiding me towards those changes I feel are up ahead. At the same time, the human part of me is thinking, "God, why does it have to hurt like this? Why do others have to be affected so harshly in order to show me where you want me to be?"

Of course, because God is God, there is probably more to His plan than just where He wants me to be. He looks at the big picture and moves to affect the lives of many. I realize He may have a plan for my former co-workers (ouch... I don't like using that word "former") and this is how He is working in their lives. And, at the same time, He is using the same situation to work in my life, as well.

All of this to say... I know God is working in my life. It is causing me to lean on Him even more. I have spent the last few days listening for God's voice, crying, praying, playing all my favorite Christian songs. All these things seeking His comfort. Seeking His guidance.

I am finding comfort in God. I have determined that I may never know WHY God chose to work in this particular way, but I trust that He knows best.

I feel that there is not a short ending to story. Not for me and not for my dear friends that lost their jobs this last week. But, I do know, that God is with us and He will not let us walk this road alone. He will show us the way if we are listening. For me and my family, He is already showing us some possibilities if only we will be patient.

In closing, I'd like to share a scripture that has always been a favorite of mine and that has gained a more personal meaning to me over the last few months. I have a feeling I will be turning to this scripture many times in the months to come.

"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary."
Isaiah 40:31 NIV