Back In His Arms Again

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Thursday night was bringing an end to a long and frustrating week. Nothing major... just many small things. I thought I was doing okay and then the dam broke. I was irritable, short with my family, impatient with my son when he wouldn't go to bed easily. More impatient when he wouldn't listen. I raised my voice and my tone wasn't nice. In the midst of it all I even let what I'm sure was an innocent informational-type note from his teacher annoy me. She asked me not to send so much snack to school with him as it was too much for the timeframe they had allotted for snacks. And, while I'm still puzzled why this hasn't been an issue until now, there was no reason for me to take a personal afront to it. No reason to convince myself that it was evidence that she thought I was a bad mother because I didn't know how much snack to send. Just the fact that I would think that a note of this nature meant I was a bad mother shows that I was beyond any and all rational thoughts.

After both kids were in bed and asleep and the house was quieter I shared some of my frustrations with my husband. I apologized for the way I had acted. As usual, he listened and was sympathetic. He forgave me. I was still in "feel bad for myself" and "guilt" mode. He needed to spend some time working so I went downstairs and pulled out iPod for some quiet time with some good Christian music.

I had it set to shuffle mode, so had no idea where it would start. These lyrics from a Mark Shultz song were the first to play:

I believe that He loves you where you are
I believe that you've seen the hands of God
I believe that you'll know it when
You're back in His arms again

I believe that He never let you go
I believe that He's wanting you to know
I believe that He'll lead you 'til
you're back in His arms again

I can't tell you how much I needed to be reminded of that at that very time. I was tired and frustrated. I was guilt-ridden because of my behavior. And, while I had turned to Christian music, I really wasn't turning anything over to God at that very moment. I had spent an evening turning away from him... my very actions proved that.

"I believe that He loves you where you are"... I love that phrase. I can't tell you how many times in my life it has brought such great comfort to know that God loves me no matter where I am at that very moment. I wasn't acting very loving Thursday night, but God still loved me. He was still right there with me. As the song goes on to say, "I believe that He never let you go". Yes, He was still holding onto me even if I wasn't recognizing that fact at that moment. And, oh what a wonderful feeling it is to know that I am "Back in His Arms Again".

While I am sure this song is probably referring to much worse situations than I was in last week, I think it is true for any situation whether it be big or small. Almost daily (at least for me) I walk away from God... if only briefly. Regardless, though, of whether I walk away or not He doesn't leave me. He is still holding on to me. Lovingly and patiently waiting for me to turn back to Him.

Here's the full song. I pray that it will bless you as it has me over the last few days.




11 Thoughts Shared:

Kristi said...

Melanie, thanks for sharing this today. I had a melt down myself on Saturday. Thankfully, they don't happen very often. Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart with us!

Erica said...

That was wonderful and very transparent! I have had so many of those moments over the last month with the craziness of the move. Thankfully, I could run back to his arms and know that I was forgiven.
P.S. I got one of those notes from a teacher too. I felt the same way you did.

Named Alicia said...

Amen my friend! We all have those moments. I had one this morning;) It's so good to know that God loves us anyway. He never lets us go. Thanks for sharing!

Jennifer said...

Thanks for being "real". I know that I have been there...more times than I want to admit. Most of the time, I can't put my finger on what triggered it and I, too, don't stop and give it to the Lord but continue to allow it to control me.

Thank you for a beautiful reminder of what we need to do during these times.

Thank heavens for understanding and loving husbands and children!

Laurie Ann said...

Melanie, I totally understand, and I'm glad you're back where you need to be. I thank God for loving husbands and the bonus children in my life.

Oh, I so could have used this last night! I had the mother of all meltdowns, Melanie! My bonus daughter was throwing up all over the carpet, both babies were crying, Steve was trying to get Corey's attention from another room without yelling for him...it was awful. About midnight after we got Kristyn and the baby baby to her mother's, I crawled back into God's arms and was so grateful He took me back. Remnants of guilt followed me this morning. I wasn't exactly ugly, just stressed and in need of four extra hands and a bottle (for the baby).

Tammy said...

I was just talking to my dh about taking things personally that should not be taken personally (like the note you received from your son's teacher). I am so thankful that when we stray from His arms He is right there waiting for us to return. Thank you Lord! Thank you for sharing...

bp said...

I have the same feelings myself some days, and I know I'd feel the same as you if I get a note like that from the teacher (when we start school). Thank you for sharing the lyrics to the song. God bless you.

Beth E. said...

I am definitely guilty of taking things personally and also of blowing things out of proportion. It is only when I calm down that I can hear the whisper of God calling me back to him. Thank you for a beautiful post.

Debra said...

Melanie,

I loved this post. Truly, we must have all been there. However, I loved reading your heart on the matter and loved seeing God 'enfold' you and it reminded me that He is so faithful and will always do it for you and for me.

Blessings to you this evening.

Tricia said...

I just love it when God knows exactly what we need to hear and He sends it to us through that song we hear or book we pick up! He is truly amazing and so very personal!

Thanks for sharing and for being transparent, it is good to know that there are others who have bad days too and do not respond the way we know we should... thank God for His forgiveness, grace, and mercy!

Blessings!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

We all get there don't we! I really appreciated this because it makes me feel "NORMAL" and God still loves us...He Loves MESSY, BROKEN, PEOPLE...AMEN!!!